I don’t know if it’s right to feel happy about the death of another human. Maybe it’s because we’ve all heard of the things Osama Bin Laden has done, but I think it’s safe to say that events of Sunday won’t be forgotten in a hurry. The assassination of Osama Bin Laden has affected everyone, not just the Pakistanis or the Americans, but the whole world, it seems to me that right now, everyone is an a frenzy to find out all they can about this man, the attack on his home, and the official statements of all those oh-so-diplomatic politicians that just don’t seem to add up. Conspiracy theorists and reporters are jumping at any chance to cry ‘Government Cover-up!’
Being a budding conspiracy-buff myself, I just couldn’t let this opportunity pass me by even though I thought Obama becoming President was a good thing... it turned out real well ha? But I digress, so here's a compiled version of what I know, conjectured, theorized and concluded after brainstorming with a friend a slightly romanticised (and completely logical) account of the event- (*this is just what I think, it maybe true, but it probably isn't*) on the night of 30th April, Libyan Oppressor, Muammar Gaddafi’s son and grandchildren are killed in an air strike. But on the same day, far away, in some secret spy-division of the US government, a courier to a house once described as ’suspicious’(or something to that effect) by the ISI was tracked. The reason for tracking? The package was probably just a hair-dryer ordered off eBay, but does the CIA need an excuse to investigate the house? It was probably some ex-spy who suffered an accident and then got stuck at a desk job who was given this odious task. He probably worked all day, just like all those ex-spies and ex-cons we've read about or seen on TV, piecing together bits of information, and suddenly sees a large terrorist bunker. So the CIA decide to look further and realise they may well be looking at Osama’s hideout. Could it be? The great hero of all those extremists, hiding out in a simple house, and they are reminded that he is after all human, and obviously needs a place to keep all his wives and kids right? So they go in, guns all ablaze, and realize that they are just staring at a normal family, a little too large and a little too quiet perhaps, but a normal family nonetheless. However, it’s too late to turn back isn't it? The Pakistanis are a bit annoyed because they weren't told earlier; the troops are dejected because they killed for no good reason, and President Obama’s hands are, as they say, tied. I bet the people of USA, would be just psyched to learn that Operation Geronimo was no use. So the two intelligence agencies decide to cover the whole thing up. How creative! And thus was born the pseudo event that is Osama’s death.
If you don’t believe me then, consider this- The Pakistanis and the Americans were saying two differnt things right after the announcement, then, overnight their statements magically became the same did they? If they had really killed Osama, I don't think they were very proud of it, they never actually showed his body to the world! Was it really THAT gruesome that not even an autopsy report could be published? Is it really THAT inconceivable that Osama never really did anything, I mean it’s hardly likely that the widespread terrorist movement was headed by just ONE man? If you still don’t believe me, then ask yourself- Why have NONE of the terrorist groups that he supposedly inspired, retaliated? Is their hero, the champion of their cause, to die unsung? You may say that this is wishful thinking, but let’s just agree to disagree, for this is my belief.